Monday, October 29, 2007

The Apple doesn't Fall Far Away

The Mishna (Kesuvos 57a) had stated regarding the amount of terumah a husband may provide his wife: Rabbi Tarfon says: They give her everything (all her food) of terumah. Rabbi Akiva says: Half of her food must be chulin (for the days in which she is tamei and therefore prohibited from eating terumah) and the other half may be terumah.

Abaye said (58a): This argument only applies to a daughter of a Kohen who is betrothed to a Kohen; however, regarding a daughter of a Yisroel who is betrothed to a Kohen, everyone agrees that half of her food must be chulin and the other half may be terumah (the chulin is needed for the days that she is tamei; a daughter of a Kohen is familiar with the halachos of terumah (from her father’s house), and she knows that the terumah must be sold when she is tamei and exchanged for other food).

Rabbi Braun, in his sefer She’orim Mitzuyanim B’halacha notes that this is the custom of the world; that which the daughter observes in her parent’s house is the manner in which she acts after she is married.

This can be seen from the Gemora above (23a) records an incident where the daughters of Shmuel were taken captive. They were taken to Eretz Yisroel from Bavel and leaving their captors outside, they entered the Beis Medrash of Rabbi Chanina and proclaimed, “We were captured but we are pure.” Rabbi Chanina permitted them to marry Kohanim (based on the principle of happeh she’assar; for the very mouth that would have rendered them forbidden to Kohanim is the mouth that has permitted them). Immediately afterwards, their captors entered the Beis Medrash. Rabbi Chanina said: It is evident that these women are the children of a halachic master (for they had known to speak to the Beis Din before their captors entered; our knowledge of them being taken captive came through their mouth and not from their captors).

Unfortunately, this can be the case in a negative manner as well. The Gemora in Sukkah states that if a child talks in a crude manner in the market, it is obvious that he heard this type of language from his parents in the house.

It is incumbent upon all parents to be constantly aware of their own behavior and manner of speech, especially, when their children are present.