Showing posts with label bein adam l'chaveiro. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bein adam l'chaveiro. Show all posts

Monday, November 10, 2008

Honoring Parents; Bein Adam l’Makom, or Bein Adam l’Chaveiro?

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The Gemora (Kiddushin 32a)inquires: From whose money are the needs of the parents provided for? [Do the children pay with their own money, or are they just responsible to ensure that their parents are taken care of?]

Rav Yehudah says: The son must pay for it. Rav Nosson bar Oshaya says: The father must pay for it.

Reb Zeidel Epstein in the sefer Afikei Ayil writes that their argument is based upon the following question: Is the mitzvah of honoring one’s father and mother a mitzvah which is between man and Hashem, and therefore the son would be obligated to use his own money just like any other mitzvah? Or perhaps the mitzvah is one that is between man and his fellow, and therefore one would not be required to use his own money.

The Dvar Yaakov asks: If it is a mitzvah that is between man and his fellow, the son would not be required to disrupt his work in order to honor his father!?

Rather, he explains: Everyone agrees that it is in the category of a mitzvah which is between one man and another, but Reb Boruch Ber explains that even in those mitzvos one would be required to spend money, provided that the money being spent is a part of the mitzvah, such as the mitzvah of giving charity. The dispute in the Gemora is regarding this point. Is the money being spent to honor one’s father a part of this mitzvah, or not?

The Minchas Chinuch writes that if honoring one’s parents is included in the category of mitzvos that are between people, Yom Kippur would not atone for these transgressions unless one would appease his father and mother beforehand.

The Ramban writes that the Ten Commandments were written on two tablets. This illustrates to us that the first five are different than the second five. The purpose of the first five is to honor Hashem. Honoring your parents is included in this category because when one honors his parents he is in fact honoring Hashem, for the parents were Hashem’s partners in the child’s creation.

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Saturday, November 03, 2007

Punishment for Causing Grief to Another

The Mishna had stated: The conjugal rights of a sailor’s wife is once in six months; these are the words of Rabbi Eliezer.

Rav Beruna said in the name of Rav: The halacha follows the opinion of Rabbi Eliezer (namely, that a Torah scholar may leave home to study Torah for thirty days without his wife’s permission).

Rav Adda bar Ahavah said in the name of Rav: These are the words of Rabbi Eliezer; however, the Chachamim say: A Torah scholar may leave home to study Torah for two or three years without his wife’s permission.

Rava stated: The Rabbis (and left home for more than a month to study Torah without their wife’s permission) relied on Rav Adda bar Ahavah, but act accordingly at the risk of losing their lives (they may die before their time as a penalty for neglecting their wives).

The Gemora cites an incident supporting Rava’s statement: Rav Rechumi who was frequenting the lectures of Rava at Mechoza used to return home every Erev Yom Kippur. On one occasion, he was so engrossed by his subject that he forgot to return home. His wife was expecting him home every moment, saying, “Now, he is coming, now, he is coming.” When he did not arrive, she became so depressed that a tear began to flow from her eyes. He was at that moment sitting on a roof. The roof collapsed under him and he was killed.

Reb Chaim Shmeulwitz (Sichos Mussar 5731; 23) derives from here that the punishment incurred because of a transgression against a fellow person is not for the purpose of appeasing the person suffering, for in this incident, not only was his wife not appeased by the result; she now was forced to endure even more sorrow and anguish by the fact that she was now a widow. Rather, the punishment for one who pains another is akin to a fire consuming and one who torments another is naturally consumed by fire.

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