Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Heavenly Voice Regarding Marriage

The Gemora states: Every day, a Heavenly voice pronounces: “The daughter of this individual is designated for that man.”

Why when it is referring to the woman does it say, “The daughter of this man,” and when it is referring to the man, it says “that man”?

Tal Chaim answers: The Torah gives the right to the father to marry off his daughter and to receive the money; this right does not apply for his son.

Others answer based on Tosfos, which states that this Heavenly voice is issued forty days before the formation of the boy. At this point in time, the girl is not in existence yet and therefore it only mentions her father.

Kometz Mincha offers an alternative answer: The Gemora Bava Basra (109b) states that a man should investigate the woman’s father and her family. Regarding a woman, on the other hand, the Gemora in Kiddushin (7a) states: A woman would rather grow old together with a husband than alone; no matter whom the man might be, and therefore his family is not mentioned.

Sotah during Sefirah

It is written in the sefer, Minchas Ha’omer that it is fitting to learn Tractate Sotah, which contains forty-nine blat during the days of Sefirah, when we are counting forty-nine days.


Anonymous said...

I've heard this too. But why not Shevuos?

Avromi said...

It actually is also based on a Shibalei Haleket who says that it is customary for women not to engage in labor from sunset and on during the days of Sefiras Ha'omer. He quotes his brother, who says that through this they will remember the flour offering brought by the sotah, for her korban and the korban omer are the only two flour offerings brought from barley flour. This, he says, will lead to greater levels in yiras shamayim.

Based on that, it would seem appropriate to learn Meseches Sotah in this time.

S.F. said...

is our gemara a source of paying a shadchun?
I have always had a problem with that because it is a chesed at least i thought it was.

Avromi said...

The Rama rules in Choshen Mishpat 264:4 that anything that one does for a person, he has a right to paid for the benefit; he cannot say, "you did this for me for free."

The Vilna Gaon in several places cites this halacha with respect to shadchanus.

even if he is not known as a "shadchan," he still should get paid.

It would seem that there are segulos involved in it as well.

I do not know the history of the "shadchan," for like you said, it is gemilas chassadim. Why did this chesed turn into a business and not other chassadim?

Boaz said...

Check this out from Rabbi Wein: Shadchan