The Gemora cites a braisa discussing the laws of a mourner arriving at the place where the other mourners are sitting shiva within the first three days of mourning: If he was within a days distance when he heard about the death, he may count the days of shiva together with them; if he came from a faraway place, he must count the days of shiva himself. If he arrives after three days, he must count the days of shiva himself. Rabbi Shimon says: If he was within a days distance when he heard about the death, he may count with them even if he arrives on the seventh day of shiva.
Rabbi Chiya bar Abba says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: The arriving mourner can count together with the other mourners only when the senior member of the family is sitting shiva already.
The Gemora states: If the senior member of the family went to the cemetery and returned to the rest of the family within the first three days of mourning, he counts together with them; if he returns after three days, he counts by himself. (21b – 22a)
Rabbi Shimon had stated: If he was within a days distance when he heard about the death, he may count with them even if he arrives on the seventh day of shiva. Rabbi Chiya bar Gamda said in the name of Rabbi Yosi ban Shaul in the name of Rebbe: This is the halacha provided that there are still people consoling the mourner on the seventh day. The Gemora rules that the halacha follows the opinion of Rabbi Shimon. (22a)
The Gemora states distinctions between the burying and mourning of one’s parent and the burying and mourning for other relatives.
One is considered praiseworthy if he buries his relatives quickly; however, if he buries his parents quickly, that is regarded as degrading (since he should eulogize them abundantly).
If it was on a Friday or the day prior to the festival, or it was raining, it is considered praiseworthy if he buries them quickly since he is doing that out of respect for his parents.
One who is mourning for other relatives is not required to limit his business activity (if he is working in order to prevent a loss); however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should limit his business activity.
One who is mourning for other relatives is not required to reveal his shoulder after rending his garment; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should reveal his shoulder.
One who is mourning for other relatives may take a haircut after the sheloshim; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should not take a haircut until his friends criticize him on account of his long hair. (22a – 22b)
One who is mourning for other relatives is permitted to enter a house of celebration after the sheloshim; however, if he is mourning for a parent, that is prohibited until after twelve months.
Rabbah bar bar Chanah qualifies this ruling to be referring to a celebration for friendship; however, it will be forbidden for a mourner to participate in a joyous celebration, like a wedding even after the sheloshim.
The Gemora cites a braisa which indicates that a mourner can participate in a joyous celebration, like a wedding after the sheloshim.
Ameimar cites another version: Rabbah bar bar Chanah qualifies this ruling to be referring to a joyous celebration: however, for a celebration for friendship, the mourner can participate immediately.
The Gemora asks that this is inconsistent with the braisa which states that mourner can participate in a friendship celebration or a joyous celebration after the sheloshim.
The Gemora answers: The mourner must wait until after the sheloshim to participate in a celebration for friendship; however, it is permitted for him to host the reciprocal celebration (all the friends hosted this celebration on a rotating basis). (22b)
One who is mourning for other relatives is obligated to rend his garment for the length of a tefach; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should rend his garment until he reveals his heart.
One who is mourning for other relatives is obligated to rend only his outside garment; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he is obligated to rend all his garments.
One who is mourning for other relatives may temporarily repair the rent garment after the shiva and sew it completely after the sheloshim; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should not repair the garment until after the sheloshim and it should never be sewn together.(22b)
Ravin says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: One who is mourning for other relatives may rend his garments with his hand or with a utensil; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he is obligated to rend his garments with his hands.
Rabbi Chiya bar Abba says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: One who is mourning for other relatives may rend his garments on the inside (in privacy); however, if he is mourning for a parent, he is obligated to rend his garments in public view. (22b)
Rabbi Chiya bar Abba says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: The arriving mourner can count together with the other mourners only when the senior member of the family is sitting shiva already.
The Gemora states: If the senior member of the family went to the cemetery and returned to the rest of the family within the first three days of mourning, he counts together with them; if he returns after three days, he counts by himself. (21b – 22a)
Rabbi Shimon had stated: If he was within a days distance when he heard about the death, he may count with them even if he arrives on the seventh day of shiva. Rabbi Chiya bar Gamda said in the name of Rabbi Yosi ban Shaul in the name of Rebbe: This is the halacha provided that there are still people consoling the mourner on the seventh day. The Gemora rules that the halacha follows the opinion of Rabbi Shimon. (22a)
The Gemora states distinctions between the burying and mourning of one’s parent and the burying and mourning for other relatives.
One is considered praiseworthy if he buries his relatives quickly; however, if he buries his parents quickly, that is regarded as degrading (since he should eulogize them abundantly).
If it was on a Friday or the day prior to the festival, or it was raining, it is considered praiseworthy if he buries them quickly since he is doing that out of respect for his parents.
One who is mourning for other relatives is not required to limit his business activity (if he is working in order to prevent a loss); however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should limit his business activity.
One who is mourning for other relatives is not required to reveal his shoulder after rending his garment; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should reveal his shoulder.
One who is mourning for other relatives may take a haircut after the sheloshim; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should not take a haircut until his friends criticize him on account of his long hair. (22a – 22b)
One who is mourning for other relatives is permitted to enter a house of celebration after the sheloshim; however, if he is mourning for a parent, that is prohibited until after twelve months.
Rabbah bar bar Chanah qualifies this ruling to be referring to a celebration for friendship; however, it will be forbidden for a mourner to participate in a joyous celebration, like a wedding even after the sheloshim.
The Gemora cites a braisa which indicates that a mourner can participate in a joyous celebration, like a wedding after the sheloshim.
Ameimar cites another version: Rabbah bar bar Chanah qualifies this ruling to be referring to a joyous celebration: however, for a celebration for friendship, the mourner can participate immediately.
The Gemora asks that this is inconsistent with the braisa which states that mourner can participate in a friendship celebration or a joyous celebration after the sheloshim.
The Gemora answers: The mourner must wait until after the sheloshim to participate in a celebration for friendship; however, it is permitted for him to host the reciprocal celebration (all the friends hosted this celebration on a rotating basis). (22b)
One who is mourning for other relatives is obligated to rend his garment for the length of a tefach; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should rend his garment until he reveals his heart.
One who is mourning for other relatives is obligated to rend only his outside garment; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he is obligated to rend all his garments.
One who is mourning for other relatives may temporarily repair the rent garment after the shiva and sew it completely after the sheloshim; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he should not repair the garment until after the sheloshim and it should never be sewn together.(22b)
Ravin says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: One who is mourning for other relatives may rend his garments with his hand or with a utensil; however, if he is mourning for a parent, he is obligated to rend his garments with his hands.
Rabbi Chiya bar Abba says in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: One who is mourning for other relatives may rend his garments on the inside (in privacy); however, if he is mourning for a parent, he is obligated to rend his garments in public view. (22b)
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Haggos Yosef Daf- כב-Moed Katan
Daf Blurbs
First 3 days while sitting Shiva and one member is not there and someone comes later or does he count for himself, or join Family? He joins in family
Ten Parsos
What is a close place? Rishonim say it is Ten Parsos which is 1 day travel.What about "Bzman Hazeh" today? Shaul Umashiv says remains even today other like Orach Hashulchan, Chelkas Yackov changes one day based on today.
Some Rishonim say he did not know before some say it does not matter
-Godol Habayis
Rishonim who is godol habayis? Father, by wife husband is, group of brothers not oldest but person who supports, can a mother be considered a godol no longer supporting? The Rashba, Aruch Hashulchan says yes
Someone who does not remain the whole time is he counted cause at one point he was Rashba says even if he leaves the heter works
Tzlfani: some say it is a family some say it is a city.
-Burial and Shiva
People who go along with body to Israel count from Stimas Hagolol(burial) body is Buried everyone else right away, only when they send to different city if in the same city where Shiva taking place but family members go along difference where women not go to beis hakvoros(Minhag Yerushalayim) they don’t start till after burial
Start immediately not go along to bury but what if they are not going along and they missed the Levayah ?Netziv says will not begin until after notification of end of burial even if not in same place Marsham says if he is far away he can begin as soon as finds out
Tosfos asks how is it be that on seventh day people are still visiting "Miktzas Hayom Kikulo" ?not at night, Since he did not get up from Shiva it goes until all people leave
-Last second arrival for Shiva
Shalos Utshuvos Rav Polim as long as he arrived before family got up from shiva he gets up with them cause if he stays longer than he is not part of the family shiva so he should sit the whole time so he just sits for the short Period and he is Yotzeh
Maharsham says first day not wear Tefillin here he will so here we also count it as last day for him.
-Mandihu: someone we don’t know his name
-Quick Burial
Good for the Neshoma,
demonstrates that the family is accepting the Gezarah of Hashem
Parents are different
Rishonim explain because you are supposed to say many Hespedim, persons crying because he will no longer have a chance to do "Kibbud av Veim" quote many places have Minhag for parents Funeral to stop every once in a while to cry more
If it is Erev Shabbos no delaying and Bach adds if it is raining don’t delay it is disgrace to have the body out in the rain .so do it quick
Business
By other deceased relatives he does not have to stop business by parents he does
Until now we said it is a Chiyuv now it became an option?
It is Referring to a case of "Davar Haved" by parent even "Davar Haved" you should preferably refrain from doing it.
-Business not physical labor is not as strictly prohibited (ex. signing Contracts)
Most learn he is referring to after Shiva, but for parent even until Shloshim some even whole year don’t get fully back into it
-Bearing Shoulders(Chalitzah)
Why don’t we do it?
Strange so we don’t do it, our clothing is not the same so we can't.
In the next Gemora he wanted to do Chalitzah respect for other person he did not illustrates it is not of essential importance.
-When to take Haircut
The Ramah says this Halacha applies the entire first year of mourning
Or Zaruah says after first haircut you can be more lenient
Birchas Yosef does not need to wait until actual reprimand only as long as it is long enough to warrant someone saying something to you
Ramah says 3 months is maximum time period to wait for haircut
Maharam Shick asks when do we start counting the 3 months? From the last hair cut, or from the start of the aveilus period? From Aveilus. In case of necessity you are allowed to count from last haircut
Iggras Moshe says twice the usual time if he takes every month take one every two months
The Chasam Sofer says Shaving is different it is much less people shave more often therefore do not need to wait to long
Yom tov does not take away the haircutting Issur for parents but most agree if 30 days have passed there is room to be lenient
-Simchas
System of parties Arisoso is an initial party that he can not do but the Prunaso the reciprocal party to pay back he can make it even during Shloshim.
-Kriyah
Why more for parent since no more ability to Do "Kibbud Av" more significant Kriyah
Meiri says extra tearing can be repaired
Kriyah should be done by hand but you can start with scissor
Maharshal parents on left side others relatives on right side
By non parents the Kriyah can be done inside by parents must be done Outside in public or has to be visible to everyone others not
-Afrikosasa
Kaffiah or undershirt worn to absorb perspiration
Gotta get ahead
I am behind had to catch Up on my Yerushalmi Seder
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